Forgive my rambling in advance. I know one thing is absolutely true, only people who have bipolar disorder can truly understand someone else with the disorder!

That unfortunately includes Pdocs. Yes I am with the same one.
What is that saying .... You are ..... If you keep doing the same thing over and over but expect different results.

I am not getting a slice of understanding here in the non-Internet world. I guess I just want to hear (read) I know exactly what you mean.

I will start with my PDOC. I want to know if I am expecting too much. I called him last week and told him vacation backfired. I came back more depressed and grief sickened. He listened then said see you in the future. Future, what does that mean ?
Friday morning I texted him, I am incredibly depressed and hopeless, the meds aren't helping. Do you have any ideas ?
Saturday morning rolls around with no answer. I am a bit mad.
I text him as if he answered me and say, THX I WILL TRY THAT
Within 2 minute he texts back WHAT
Then the house phone rings, it is him, my cell rings twice. I text back sorry wrong person.

If he can take that much time to yell at me, could he have answered my original text about meds ? I called him this morning
told him I am up to 800mg seroquel daily from 350mg and it is not helping. No answer yet, I know he won't call. To anyone new to this illness you have to become your own doctor.

Does anyone have an understanding spouse or significant other ?
If you do I envy you. Mine just keeps yelling at me, why are you depressed, why are you crying ? You think everything is about you ? Water the flowers, feed the animals, clean up, make dinner, why are you in bed again ?

Needless to say the wind is out of my sails (again). The weight/health transformation is not going to start now. I am just trying to stay alive, why, I am not sure ! This feels like hell