So I wrote him an email. I know I won't get a response but I'm glad I poured out my feelings. I apologized and told him that I'm sorry for anything that ever hurt him. I basically just let it all out. I tried to keep it short. I hope he feels better after reading it. The problem is he doesn't communicate well with me so ill ever know. I haven't heard from him at all today. The thing is I know he would kill me if he knew I was on this site. I'm so worried about it.