So familiar with this. My PDOC was the only person that I had to talk to about my bipolar, and other (depression, schizoeffective, mania, bipolar) he just basically sat there and prescribed major amounts of drugs, which I have taken so many SSRI"s, antipsychotics, antidepressants etc that didn't work so I stopped taking them, including seroquel as i gained so much weight with it as well as the anti psychotics that i had taken. I was on Lithium went off because of having to get blood levels tested often, depakote because of liver disease(don't have it but didn't want it) and other side effects.now I take Abilify which I have taken in the past and it did help only I gain weight(antipsychotic). I feel as if there is no way to win.My husband tells me that I just sit home and feel sorry for myself, no longer has empathy for what I am going through so yes it does feel like hell.