I'm really sorry to hear you have lost so much and are still struggling with the depression. Good for you for cutting out the acohol. YOu are not a waste of space. You just happen to be in a very tough place right now. Keep seeing your doctor and let him know you are still depressed. Once you are feeling less depressed you can find anothe job and eventually another boyfriend. Take care and keep posting. It helps to get the feelings out and PC is a great place to do that.
Gayle