Hello Lilithlee. You are definitely not alone. PC is here for you. Many people are going through the same thing. I have depression and anxiety too. It has been easier to deal with since I found Psych Central. I have made a lot of friends. Don't be so hard on yourself. You may want to go to the Bipolar forum. I'm sure you have already checked it out.

Are you seeing a pdoc and Therapist? That would help greatly. You may need to take some meds. A pdoc can prescribe them for you. There are many places that do not charge if you have low income. A community mental health clinic offers the services you need. You can Private message me any time you like. God bless

Piraeus