And if she were your spouse? Would you be content with feeling this way towards her? Is this her way of wanting to make amends without having to apologize?

My mother-in-law is similar. It hurts my wife to this day, though they both go on as if it is old news. Without the apology, it will never be any better than what you describe about your co-worker.. Which may be fine for a relationship with a co-worker. But not fine with someone you are trapped in a blood-line "love" that can't be broken.

I know this type of relationship all too well. Sometimes you are on the other side of the coin, too.