Sounds like you have lost important people in your life already. I have too and I also have fears of losing people i love. I have to work really hard to not go there in my head. I have a friend that has end stage COPD. I know from losing my mother to the same dease that she doesn't have a pleasant time ahead of her. I have been putting off going to see her because I didn't want to face the fact she might die. I finally went to see her this weekend and it was very hard to face. Unfortunately, we are not in charge of who dies and who lives. We do have to accept what happens, though. You are tough. You can face whatever happens. We have to be strong for those that are sick. I know it is hard but I know you can do it.
Gayle