Quote:
Originally Posted by mojo321
Whether you "use the concept of forgiveness" in your life or not is simply semantics.
You have forgiven people. You just call it something different. And you use different terminology to describe the mechanics of it in your mind.
Your description seems to indicate that you never forgive anyone of anything. You simply see that stripe on them forever. But you DO focus on their silver linings. That IS forgiveness. It's just semantics. Forgiveness is the choice to focus on the silver linings and stop focusing on the bad stripe.
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Nope. I do not focus on the silver lining. I am able to hold both sides simultaneously in my mind. I am aware of the wrongdoing and the positive contribution to my life simultaneously. There is absolutely no forgiveness in that - I am just appreciative of the complexity of RL and able to see all sorts of shades of colors, rather than just black and white.
There is also no CHOICE - I do not choose to focus on the silver lining. The thought process unfolds by itself,
without my making
any choices to think of any topic or subject. Eventually, the thought process reveals positive sides in people whose positive sides were not immediately apparent to me. I do not see it as forgiveness at all, but if you do see it as forgiveness, that is definitely fine as well, but then I can tell you for sure that you are on the wrong path TRYING to forgive - that kind of forgiveness happens organically without any effort. As long as you are efforting forgiveness, or, are asking somebody else to effort forgiveness, things won't work, so you might as well stop and not waste your mental energy.
Or, you could be calling something else "forgiveness" and then I cannot comment. But if you see the appreciation of the silver lining as forgiveness, then, being an expert on this particular strand of forgiveness, I can tell you that it cannot be sped up, forced, or efforted in general.