I have been in this relationship with this man for a little over a year. Not only is he my boyfriend but he is also my best friend. He is 21 (and I am 26) and has a best guy friend/father figure 40 year old man and this mans family who he has known since he was 12 who were kind of there for him because he didn't have a dad and his mom was never around. I absolutely despise his friend and friends family they are rude and mean people who have treated me like crap. In the beginning of our relationship is when all the questions were asked such as "how many people have you been with and etc.". A couple of situations have happened recently nothing big but things to start putting doubt into my head.

Problem 1: I hate porn, I told him in the very beginning I hated it and I won't be with a man who watches it. I even told him about a previous relationship I was in and I found out that that guy was watching porn while we were together and how HORRIBLE it made me feel. When we started dating he promised he would never watch it and the other day I was looking something up on our computer and in the history it showed a ton of porn from three days before. When he got home I asked him if he watches porn and he said no, I then brought out the lap top and showed him that I knew that he had watched it and that he just lied to me.

Problem 2: Because I had already had some doubt formed in my head from previous situations and then the porn I went through the whole lap top. I had to dig deep but I found multiple videos of him having sex with a woman, a video of his ex masturbating and tons of photos of naked girls. I knew from all the dates that none of this happened while we were together so he didn't cheat nor do I think he has cheated on me. But as I said in my very first paragraph, in the beginning we had the talk and he did tell me about that when he lost his virginity it was to an older married woman and her husband was in the room. BUT he told me that it had just happened once and he wouldn't tell me who the people were which actually almost ended our relationship that night. So now not only did he have sex with her MORE than once but they were recorded with a camera.

So once I confronted him about the porn I then said and would you like to tell me about this and it was the folder with the videos and pictures. He said that he "forgot" about that folder and as we sat there and talked about everything lie after lie just kept unraveling. I love him so much and gave up pretty much my whole life for him and I didn't break up with him but I did tell him he has definitely broken a bond between us and my trust and I'm going to ask him questions and he has to answer them all truthfully.

Well last night when we were getting ready to go to sleep I said "I must know the whole situation on how this went down with the married couple" because this is not the movies, a couple is just not going to stroll up to you causally at a party and say "hey wanna have sex with my wife". His reply to my request was that I didn't want to know. So finally after about 30 minutes of badgering him he tells me. IT WAS HIS 40 YEAR OLD BEST FRIENDS WIFE AND HE WATCHED!!! Through out this year we have been together, he has been to that house TONS of times and even stayed the night and I never thought anything of it BECAUSE their like family. He swears to me that the sex stopped 2 years ago and he has never done it since we have been together and I believe him. But again he LIED to me!

I don't want to break it off with him but I am so hurt and my trust is completely gone, plus I can't get the images out of my head.

So please help, help me with things that can be done to build the trust back and please please please help me with ways to get these images out of my head. I don't know what else to do. and I'm sorry this was so long