Hey Secretwhisper. I'm sorry you are also feeling this way. I generally surf the numbness wave but occassionaly I go a bit lala which is happening at the moment and every emotion is trying to break through and I'm finding it difficult to control. I maxed out my credit card today literally bought something from every shop from one end of the mall to the other, had a fab time while knowing that I couldn't afford it all i just don't care at the moment. My 15yr old daughter is currently holding my purse for fear that i will sneak out at midnight to go to 24hr walmart. My point is that 'm aware but I don't care but i know I have to remove myself from temptation hence my daughter has hidden my purse. So I would advise you to remove yourself from the stressful situation for however long you need preferably alone and with walking potential where you can lose yourself in nature and fantisise about being well. It does help to destress you. honest. Hope you are feeling more level soon x