
Jul 22, 2013, 08:54 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nessa213
Hm, I came back to edit that youtube link out and the edit post link was already gone. Damn.
Today I took the day off of work. Call it a mental health day, I guess. Better now though, I suppose.
My husband and I kind of hung out all day today too... which was nice.
There's a lot of things I'm not proud of that has happened over the course of the weekend and I TYPICALLY don't believe in regret. I really don't. I mean, I can't. I know full well it's not fair to myself. There's just something shattering about feeling like THAT much of a failure that I couldn't control myself in front of a two year old. Let alone my OWN two year old.
And my one friend, who granted was only trying to make me feel better, kept saying "this like this happen all the time. all parents lose their temper sometimes" And I don't know why but that almost made it worse. Because then THAT makes it seem like... I don't know... like I just didn't try hard enough to control myself. Like I'm really NOT bipolar at all... I know full well that's not what she meant, but that's what I heard.
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I think you can do everything you can to control yourself, to do the best you can at the moment, and *not* be a 'bad' person, and yet it not be about bipolar. I'm not saying it isn't, only that having bipolar does not determine whether something one has done makes them a 'bad' person or not a 'bad' person. Anyone in this situation, doesn't matter who, I think needs to try to not beat themselves up for it, not define themselves by the one action, and just try to figure out how to prevent it in the future -that's all anyone can ask of themselves.
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