I am so sorry for your loss, anniversaries are very difficult.
I do also think beachbumgirl has some good points as I look back, unless you mis-communicated the sequence of events.
Can you allow yourself to grieve and rave without trying to put yourself out with increased med doses? It sounds like you are feeling no one understands...but you might be making it more difficult for yourself. It is ok to really lose it, without hurting yourself, at times...
This will sound stupid, I am afraid, but do you, or have you, spent any time in peer support groups for those who have lost children?