Sorry to be posting so much recently. I’m having a really rough time and talking to people makes me feel a little less lonely. So thanks for your help.

I was wondering if any of you have dealt with abandonment issues. I find that mine are really overwhelming me right now. I haven’t seen my T since May (for those of you who didn’t see my last post) and I’m also not around any of my friends right now. I really REALLY need lots of interaction with other people or I get very upset very quickly. It’s complicated because I do think I have some level of social anxiety. Anyway, only one of my friends is good at keeping up communication and it’s starting to get to me. A couple times every day, I start to worry that I’m driving her away and she will at some point just stop talking to me. And when I say worry, I mean I completely lose my ***** and I’m tempted to message her a bazillion times thanking her for talking to me and apologizing for being annoying. I don’t because I know that this is in my head and I'd just end up sounding super clingy. She's done nothing at all to warrant this fear. I don't have this problem when I'm talking to several other people frequently. I guess that way I have a backup in case one of them leaves me.

I also worry that maybe I’ve been interpreting my T wrong after all of this time and maybe she doesn’t actually care about me. Or maybe I’ll end up frustrating her because I’m not good at opening up about my feelings and she’ll eventually give up on me. Sometimes, I actually already feel abandoned because I need her now and I can’t get a hold of her until Sep. It’s not rational because I know that’s not her fault. The school decided that summers must be no contact, not her. I feel guilty for feeling that and I feel guilty for having much less of a problem being open emotionally on PC than with her. And I'm worried that I'll annoy everyone on this site by posting too many stupid things.

I’m just so paranoid that I’ll lose everyone and be completely alone. I don’t know how to quell these fears let alone overcome this problem completely. My only strategy to handle this has been using SI to block it all out and I know that isn't okay. Has anyone had any success with dealing with this? Sorry.