Hi Rose76, just wanted to say - there for you. You have us here at PC. And I'll listen anytime, I read your posts, or PM me if you like. I am in a similar situation, I have no in -person support system and pretty much hole up in my room, in bed. Too many "shoulds" is really painful. On top of the pain that's already there. Maybe can you give yourself a break on some of these? Sending hugs, Gracez