((( Lux ))) It must be difficult for you to trust in love when you are also waiting for the "other shoe to drop"?
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Maybe ... if one thing happens to distort what love is to me, then, it must not be love.
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What IS love to you, then? What preferences, boundaries, actions etc. are involved in that? Do you discuss that with people you get close to? I'm not sure enough people are clear about the expectations in a relationship.
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Other times, I am just incapable of conceiving of the idea that anyone could possibly love me. I love so dam purely and easily. I am a walking target
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So, do you consider yourself in some way not worthy of being loved, or perhaps you anticipate being rejected, or both? You mention being able to love purely and easily. Some people unfortunately do take advantage of that, taking more than they give. It's important to give yourself credit for being so caring and able to open up to people - not everyone is like that.
Everyone has to balance the give and take in a relationship, so love comes from a position of mutual respect, rather then one person doing all the trusting and hoping while the other party promises the moon and delivers less. Expressing your needs and realizing you are a person deserving of being loved is necessary.
