I don't know. I don't know what would happen of I tried to contact her through the school. It would cause a scene for sure. If she managed to get a hold of a letter or something, it would make her worried. She worries about me even when I'm in a much better mental state than I am right now. She'd probably have the head of her department call me because she wouldn't be allowed to. That conversation wouldn't be very great because I'd get nervous and lie to her about how I am doing. Then my first meeting with her in Sep would be an intervention and the department head would be present and they would talk to me and decide whether or not to have me committed. And then they'd contact one of the deans and she'd get concerned and eventually my teacher would hear about it and he'd get concerned and I just don't see how that would be pleasant for anyone involved. My school is extremely small and if I said anything that made her think I was having active sui thoughts, this drama would unfold. I don't know if risking that is worth it. It would probably make me more anxious and I'm already shaking nearly constantly.