Horrible nerd? I doubt there's any horrible within Venus.

Knowing what we don't want is a good thing.

Take me for example, I still have no idea if this can / will turn into a career, but I know which jobs NOT to apply for, what kind of industries do NOT suit me.

Nothing wrong with loving to learn, its something I can appreciate even though all my learning takes place as practical exams.

We all get lost along the way, its part of personal growth, don't let it discourage you. Yo will find the map, the flashlight, and all you need to find you again

A time out, a break, it sounds like a stellar idea IMO.