I truly understand both perspectives here (and I will never just pop in with a comment before reading the rest of the thread first...).

Both situations need to be conscious decisions.

My decision to "give up" on relationships was not a "conscious" one. It was a slow process of removing myself from society which was very damaging. Likewise, to continue to try to have a relationship (or to develop a new one) - which often happened on an unconscious level for me (because my preferred way of life has always been "single") - had also resulted in pain and suffering (of 2 people, now, instead of just me).

I guess what I am trying to say is, whatever decision we make regarding this issue should be made CONSCIOUSLY.

It was not that way for me, and I (and others) suffered immensely for it.

I did (was willing to) slam that door, but Razel made me realize that I was giving up a huge part of me (that I did not/would not? acknowledge was there). On the otherhand, how could I present myself to anyone properly, if I do not know who I am , what my beliefs are, where my moral/ethical boundaries lay, etc. and have it be successful?

The only option left, it seems, is to develop a solid relationship with myself. Then I can develop a solid relationship with someone else.

Ok, now I'm lost in what I am trying to say, but what I do know is, I will not be slamming and locking ANY doors, because every time I do, a piece (large or small) of me dies.