Quote:
Originally Posted by Freewilled
Sometimes I think about how sadistic therapy can be...Like - I sit there and go deeper into pain each week and my T encourages it and can offer only some empathy, maybe some coping skills and he watches it.all. Does T like to see that? I'm guessing no but I am seriously hoping for it to pay off. The pain can be excruciating...
After its out there - does that allow it to really heal or does it just scab over? Sorry to be so graphic but sometimes I really feel like I'm having surgery with no anesthetic  I wish T would at least hold my hand... |
I can tell that my therapist is concerned and very empathetic about the amount of emotional pain I experience during therapy. I have the reassuring knowledge that my therapist has also been through 15 years of therapy when she was younger, so, I know for a fact that she knows something about this hard work, this pain, from my side of the fence too.
I also think of therapy exactly as surgery without anesthetic, because I've done therapy dissociated, which is just like using something to numb the pain, and that therapy did not feel healing in general. Now, my therapy is full of pain, but I liken therapy to using a scalpel on me, a tool carefully crafted for this painful work, instead of just bandaging up a wound that won't heal on it's own, or sawing away, which is trying to process it alone or carelessly.
After it is out, the cancers, the festering wounds, we absolutely heal, if we are supported, support ourselves, work through it, integrate it into our lives and use it to make affirming choices, in my experience.