That's painful. It's really tough when those we rely on are not available to us is ways we need.

Not helping with the kids and criticizing are tough. The going out with friends and going away could (or could not be) the whole "I thought you needed to be alone so I gave you space, thought I was helping you thing." I don't know

At any rate. I agree that talking to him may be useful. Also I think it could help to lean on friends or others if that is an option for you. Glad you reached out here and I wish you well.