Your husband is a prime example of why I keep my BP and my BF separate!

It drove me nuts when he would retreat, or be the opposite of what I deemed supportive. Not thinking that he is also being affected by my crazy, directly, and he may need space from me and my turmoil. I mean, he was after all even less prepared for this than I was! LOL

I can honestly say our relationship has improved drastically since adopting this strategy, and my daughter is always a gem, she gives me extra "me-time' when I'm all bipolar

Husband & kids are definitely trickier though, there's a different dynamic in your household, and some people really want their spouses involved to hold their hands and help out. There's absolutely nothing wrong with seeking support, as long as we don't hold someone else hostage IMO

I strongly suggest you think about what it is (in detail) that you want / need from your husband during these times. Make a list, and discuss it with him, then he can see where he falls short, and if either or both of you are being unreasonable in your requests / responses, you can discuss calmly.

Good luck, I hope things calm down soon.