I am glad that this place has helped you, and opening up has worked. Personally I do not see much in the way of you moving forward, you write with such depression, admit that you spend days in tears, you can't handle things, you're still bitterly disappointed in everything, hold so much resentment and you have a fair bit of self-pity. Sorry the last bit sounds really harsh, but when you write things like why you wonder why your husband married you etc, that is self-pity. Life has given you such a blow, I do not take that away from you and I do really feel for you, but I just think because you're so fragile, so very depressed that you really should seek therapy. I do not understand the wait if you welcome it - therapy takes time to work, so the longer you leave it, the longer you will feel rotten for - doesn't make sense. It doesn't matter if you stop when the baby comes along, you can just go back after a while - you'd have made a start and even that thought that you're going to be happier one day can give a little lift.
Life IS full of absolutely horrible bits at times, nothing we can do really can stop that - we do not control all circumstances or how people act with us. All we really do have is ourselves, and how we react to those things. I just think that you need help asap to learn how to react better, for your own sake.

I am glad you read the post before. I took it down because it's frustrating. Because I am not in the thick of depression, I can see things differently to you, and I find it very frustrating to read your way of thinking because it can be so greatly improved with some help. You're stuck in a bubble here, yet it can be helped if you get going and seek help. I do understand depression and how it can change a person and the ability to ever think things will get better, but so many people here have spent time to try and help you, therapy and coping methods has/have been suggested loads of times, stories have been shared, positive vibes have been given and a shoulder to cry on too. But these months on, I do not see any spark in you - because of depression you seem to be going around in circles - bad feelings about everything, blaming people, and looking for others to take the pain away. But they can't do this unless its conditional, you yourself are responsible for your own happiness and learning how to cope, to get stronger. I feel is the only way you are going to feel better and feel better is what you deserve.

I am sorry if this sounds harsh. Maybe this is my issue, but I get frustrated with people who do not help themselves - depression sure can stop a person doing so, but you reached out here and asked for help, so surely you wanted help to start?