I met with him today and tried to explain how his comment made me feel. I told him I thought he liked "Business Anna" better and that she's just a facade. He said that "Business Anna" is a part of the whole Anna and that my job is to bring "Business Anna" closer to "real Anna". He also said that even though I feel like I have to put my facade on and go perform when I'm at work, at home, etc., I should look at his office as a safe space to just be me. Which touched off another round of anxiety since I still have panic attacks every time I have a session.

He did all the right things and said all the right things...my fault for having serious trust issues I guess. I don't know that anything he says or does will ever make me feel like I can fully trust him.

I feel so broken...like the light at the end of the tunnel just went out and I'm surrounded by thick blackness that I can't break free from.