There is no evidence that Aspies share traits that make them "selfish and controlling" as far as I know - I think you're confusing Asperger's with psychopathy, which your father appears to have. I have high-functioning autism which is an ASD like Asperger's and I can tell you, I have experienced low points in my life similar to what you have described. But I don't think I have "controlling" behaviour because I've never held a position of leadership or even responsibility over other people, so...