When I'm stressed out about anything at all, my main daydream is to wish I was travelling somewhere new.

It's ok to wish you were somewhere where you feel safe and secure. It's sorta like our own little happy places. Yours currently happens to be the hospital, because you were just there and you felt safe there.

Dreams can be triggering and that's alright. Knowing about that other girl in your program would also be triggering, as would the mass on your husband's femur. That's a lot of triggering stressful things to have go on within two weeks of coming back out of the hospital!

I am going to take a guess and think that it's not that you want out of normal life.. it's that you want out of overwhelming stress. And that, believe it or not, is TOTALLY NORMAL! You just happen to know that you actually do have an actual escape - going inpatient. Not everyone would consider that an option, or even think about it.

I have faith in you that you can work through the stress! How much have you and your husband talked about the mass? Does he know how scared you are for him? Have you done research on what it could be and what the next steps are? Maybe you could do that together... unless you think it would be more triggering? In which case don't.

Anyway I sorta just lost my train of thought due to my cat jumping onto my stomach. So I am just going to click "send" and hope that this has been somewhat helpful or comforting?