Thank you guys for all the replys.
Whether I take the medication or not, I just feel dumbed down.
I do think that there is a cycle every two weeks where I become normal once again. Medication really prevented me from getting mania at night (which is a feeling that I truly miss), but I am glad I got rid of it because I get super depressed afterwards in the morning.
I also get anxiety and headaches when I try to read or just by going outside.
I hope trying new medication help.
I am currently taking Divalproex 250 mg and abilify.