Those are wise thoughts, Perna. Your husband is lucky that he has you to start thinking about this issue. It gets to be a big one.

Hopefully, you will get more cooperation than I'm getting. My friend has a ton of clutter. He says that, if he ever has to leave (like to go into a nursing home,) that he will just hand over the key to the manager of the apt. complex . . . and just walk away. "They will be glad to get all my stuff for free."

I am listed on his lease as the responsible party who will remove his belongings, if something happens to him. (It's a senior complex.) The few things he has of value probably would not compensate for the cost of getting all the junk carted away. I may want to live at this complex when I am over age 62. My reputation with the people there is important to me.

Where he lives, a HUD subsidized complex, just notified tenants that they will start, next month, inspecting for cleanliness. Warnings will be given, and evictions will be started for those who fail to meet standards of cleanliness. He showed me the notice and said, "We have some work to do." But I'm the one who has all the real work to do.

He becomes more and more mobility impaired by the week. Meanwhile, my heart breaks at the thought of him being taken to a nursing home. I'm doing everything humanly possible to avert that, for as long as possible . . . and, possibly, for ever. I provide the hands on nursing care when that's needed. I'm there around the clock when needed.

We never can know how things will develop. I am not well, emotionally or physically, and am floundering in getting my own affairs sorted out. He is hardly a companion to me anymore. It is so lonely when I am at his place. He sleeps most of the day.

People do well to prepare for the worst, as life goes on. There is no foretelling what health issues will creep up. Simplifying the environment that you must maintain is essential to being able to keep coping. There is an art to doing that. If you're the party who has the knack of doing that, than your partner should be very grateful and cooperative.