I must really suck at talking to doctors. I tried really hard to tell him EXACTLY how I was feeling and how legitimately scared I was about my uncontrollable rage that I'd had.

He upped my Lamictal to 150mg from 100mg. That was it. So we'll see. (Um... last I read Lamictal really only helps.. um... depression.. so... weird)

I'm not saying I was angling for some kind of anxiety med, but damn. Today freaking sucked. I would have murdered someone for a klonopin or an ativan. Or SOMEthing.

He reminded me of the reason I'm switching doctors. I'm glad he called me back, don't get me wrong. He's not an awful doctor... a little distant... a little inattentive. But not like a bad GUY. (literal sigh)

I get it. Bipolar treatment is really hard. I get it. Several days go by and I'm completely different person. Got it. But Jesus... it's gotta get better than this, right?