Rainbow, you are an experienced parent and grandparent, so you know full well that people--be they parents, teachers, therapists, friends, etc.--go into things with the best of intentions and then have to change course as they bump into the individuality of those children, students, clients, and friends they are in contact with. I don't see that as lying at all. I see that as doing the best job we can with the information we have at the time, but having to go to plan B or C or D as we find things are not as we initially thought.