I don't understand. You were the one who wrote that "I knew that maybe all of this was going to be hard to ever give up, but like a kid eating too much candy, I kept my thoughts to myself for a long time" and "I knew better than she did, that these things would trigger me," so how is that not manipulation?

If you knew better than she because she was inexperienced, weren't you using it to get what you need? It's not a good or bad thing, it is what happened. Many people do it probably in their lives, but the difference is that she is a T, not a person to fulfill all our needs and wants. Your pattern involved manipulation if you knew what you were doing and getting from it, more so than your T realized.

She was inexperienced and probably learned alot. If she was more seasoned, she probably would have avoided many of her behaviors from the beginning.