My first post so this will be interesting.

I need an outside view of my relationship with my girlfriend. She and I have been together for two years. When we first met she knew I was bipolar. My diagnosis and our conversation about it came months later.

My girlfriend and I are having some issues with trust and trying to rebuild our relationship. I had several instances of "infidelity". The infidelity was kept to texting, talking on the phone, or going out to eat. The text messages were explicit.

I have been trying to think if the infidelity was triggered when I was depressed as a way to make myself feel better. I notice that when I am in a manic state or what would be considered a manic state (I have been on meds for over a year now) I am very easily aroused. I do have a fear of being close with someone. Growing up I had more than a few failed relationships due to the fact that I would be depressed and it was hard for my partner at the time to handle.

The matter is a little complicated. I have found that in past relationships I would text someone on the side without ever wanting anything physical with that personal even though the conversations would be of a sexual nature. When I feel depressed I want want to push those that are close to my in this case my girlfriend away. I become distant and disinterested. I do still care for her.

I have come to be depressed again and I like my space. My girlfriend thinks I am avoiding her and being distant because I am speaking to someone else. I have made every effort not to put myself in a situation that would lead me to talk to someone else. I do hear that people who suffer from Bipolar can be very promiscuous. Its now come down that she wants me to be there but I am depressed and have been for weeks and I am not running to anyone else.