Okay so I am bipolar with a side of paranoia to start with. First off my wife and I have been married for fifteen years and have had a pretty good relationship with a few rough patches mixed in. I have a hard time talking to my wife about my mental problems first off like if I say I am depressed she want to know why and most of the time I really don't know why now I never have to tell her if I am in a manic stage cause she spots it right away and if she has a prn Med on hand she will get me to take it. Last night we were laying bed having a nice conversation and out of the blue I said I wish I was dead and told her I was not joking she offered to take me in but I declined and went to sleep instead. Now my real problem is I really have a hard time talking to my wife about my true feelings like being suicidal, homicidal and plain just flying out of my gourd . I don't know if I am worried that she will judge me or that she just won't understand me or what she will think. Now here is the topper she is a psych RN that used to do floor work but is now doing admitting at the psych hospital as a matter of fact I had to beg the er not to admit me to that facility cause she was working that shift. I apologize for bouncing around.

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