Out of the 3.5 years my boyfriend and I have been together, 2 have been plagued by his business/financial issues. They do not affect me financially (I've offered him a loan, and he's declined), but they are taking an emotional toll on me and the relationship, for sure. Much of our time is spent discussing the issues and ways to fix them, and this is frustrating as I have my own problems (that I mostly handle on my own) but am generally okay with my life and want to enjoy it. We do not live together, and there is no financial interdependence between us. However, he has become increasingly distant and depressed and I don't know what to do.

I cannot fix the problems (which would all pretty much be solved by money alone) and, because the problems are ongoing, I am forced to deal with them because they impact so much of our time together. I love him and would not leave someone just because they are struggling. However, this affects my day to day moods and is really starting to wear on me. I try to be upbeat and positive, but don't always agree with his decisions. I'm not sure how to help him if he keeps making the same mistakes over and over again (mostly trusting the wrong people). And, I sometimes get angry when he doesn't see things my way...Not because he must agree with me at all times and I have to get my way, but because I think his judgment is clouded right now and he may be acting rashly out of desperation.

Because of the depression, he also lacks the energy he needs to help himself get out of this mess. So, I try to provide the energy...I try to help dealing with contracts, lawyers, accountants, marketing, permits, etc. but need for him to do this himself at some point. If I were his business partner, I'd just handle this stuff as it's something I'm good at. But, I have my own full-time job, and I only do this now to try to help him. I've considered backing off completely so that he doesn't only associate me and our time together with the business, but it breaks my heart to see him struggle over things that are relatively easy for me (I'm organized and fairly type-A, so it's just the way I'm wired). He's a bit scattered and really liked to focus only on mechanical stuff (give him a car or machine to fix and he's one happy guy).

We handle stress very differently...he shuts down and gets very low energy (not great when you've got financial/business issues). I get anxious and high-strung...which, while annyoying, has helped me get myself out of many a predicament based on having the extra energy to "push through" a lot of situations...

I'm sure others have dealt with this and can provide insight. I guess my behaviour would be considered codependent but feel as if leaving him to his own devices would be like abandonning him...