Don't give up! You need to hire a SS lawyer. I was denied twice and hired a lawyer and won on the third attempt. The lawyer will take his pay out of your back pay, so you don't have to put any money up.
It sounds like you have a very legimate reason for needing to quit working, so don't let them scare you. They always deny at first, hoping people will give up and not try again.
Good luck to you,
Linda