I'm so sorry you have had such bad luck with guys. It really sucks. I think it would be a good idea if you sought counseling, considering you have been cutting in the past. You don't want to go there again. I used to cut and it was really hard to give up once I started. It took counseling to teach better ways to cope with emotional pain.
Wishing you the best. And good for you for not taking that kind of treatment. You deserve better.
Gayle