I have an Aspie friend and he is the first to admit that he's going to have physical things around him in his old special way or it really does something to his personal well-being. So concerning the room of an Asperger guy i guess it is not exactly the same as a non-asperger.

I encourage you to find informations about Aspergers, because when people doesn't know how to make correct contact with people, they decide that saying always yes is the best thing they could do.
But every pathology needs to be handled in the proper way, neither too harsh, nor too sweet.
So maybe your husband and you can seek information together of what is appropriate to do with an Asperger child and what is not?