The fact that you do not want to see him is really your answer. 9 months on in a relationship should be still good fun and full of butterflies in the tummy, and warm feelings when you think of them. Please let him go, be a good friend to him and let him find someone who does like to see him and his kisses.. and be a good friend to yourself and find someone that ticks those boxes for you too.

You can't fool a heart you know, and even though you miss him and hate the idea of breaking up, if your heart isn't in it, it isn't in it. There's very little you can do! It really is better to be alone and make your own life as full, fun and as good as possible than be miserable with the wrong person.

Look after yourself...