Yes get yourself together before you enter into any more relationships, that's not what you need right now, you need to heal your heart. Your friends sound helpful, you seem happy with them, keep talking before you cut, nobody wants you to hurt yourself, it's too risky, you could die from it too. Now that you've been through all this c### you can handle almost anything and you've gotten stronger because of it and if you feel symptoms coming on you can catch yourself and go in the hospital or talk to doctor and T and deal with those symptoms.Good Luck and have a great day!!I'll pray for you too!!!