I was so pleased so see this thread as I struggle with this big time and the feelings of shame I have around it are huge. I wasn't hugged as a child. My parents once said it would have been child abuse to touch me as I didn't like it. Maybe one day I will tell them what actually was abuse. Anyway my t is happy to hug, hold hands, do body work, but the feelings of shame I have are huge and I am spending a lot of time sitting with the longing and the shame at the same time. I don't think I am bisexual and have spent quite a bit of time trying to double check that it isn't a sexual thing. I am gradually coming to the conclusion that it is a substitute for the maternal touch I have never had.
My t says that if I let myself receive some of the touch I need that eventually the cravings will lesson, but I always feel that it could leave me longing for more and more that cannot be met. Unfortunately I am single with friends that shy away from touch as well so I can't get the need met there.
The feelings are so complicated I was so relieved that several of us are struggling with the same emotions around this. It somehow makes it less scary