I just joined here in hopes to start the process of improving my low self esteem. I find I can be an enigma of sorts. I have days I long for friendship, then others when I don't want to be around anyone. I don't have any friends in my life I can talk to openly. I always feel I need to put up a mask, never to reveal my true self. When I've tried to express concerns, or feelings, those friendships ended. My friendships usually have a maximum of a year before they are ended.

I'm a 36 year old male, and I don't relate to most guys. I have zero interest in sports, cars (other than design of them), guns, etc...What you might consider typical "guy" stuff. What I like are Photography and gaming. When I do meet people I do wait to hear from them. For some reason I feel very odd and never know what to say if I try and reach out to them. So with that occurring my self esteem really drops.

I am happily married, but I feel it's hard to talk to my wife about this as I can see she doesn't know how to respond, which sometimes frustrates me, but I can't blame her. At least she does try.