I think some of the problem is that he's not with you anymore so you can't vent at all, there's no one to "hear" your complaints about him. That always makes me angrier and feeling more helpless, not having anyone to say things to to get them off my chest. Wants2Fly has some good ideas with journaling and seeing a therapist. I'd get some counselling if I could but otherwise give up your insensitive ex-husband as a "lost cause."