I can so relate to so much of what you are saying, LostAngel. I am looking to go to school. I'm on disability but my partner and I are barely making it by. We're allowed to make an extra 1600 a month between the two of us and I've applied for the odd job here and there but I hate it. I'm 34, I've been working since I was 12 and I hate every single thing I've ever done, except for one 6-month job I had with a youth program that simultaneously taught job search and life skills and video production (filmmaking). I'm into arts - I too love my tattoos, I want to get more, and I don't want to get rid of piercings. My hair's currently my natural color but I love changing it up. However, right now I'm working with a job agency that helps people find work, and I went in there for my initial assessment on Monday and realized, I am tired of working **** jobs. So I've been thinking now of going after a certificate or degree in child and youth care, or social work. I'm pretty sure I don't want a degree in either, because what I really want to pursue is fine arts: performing arts, visual arts, creative writing. I just know that I need to supplement my income and I can't do it at minimum wage anymore. I can't handle working those kinds of jobs. I need to do something rewarding.
I'm scared it'll be too much for me. I'm scared I'll pick the wrong program and end up with a credential that won't get me hired. I constantly doubt where I'm at and if the right thing wouldn't just be to pursue fine arts instead...but it would be cool to have some kind of a foundation in social work/community support and maybe someday I could combine my passion with it and set up great programs for youth in the justice system, street-involved youth, youth with mental illnesses and other barriers, and addicted youth.
Not pregnant, so I don't have that happening. But my partner and I often talk about having kids and I have no idea how it'll happen financially if I don't get the ball rolling...ugh.