I have to say I have not had a major ptsd reaction like this one for a year when I flipped and quit my job. Now I am aware in a brain sense what going off all of those meds at once can do to me but I am also unable, {yet} to stop the feelings of having been disbelieved, rejected, called a liar, trusting and being sucker punched. And then I tried to objectively step back and this woman has had me on a ton of drugs forever!!!!!! Yes, quality of PTSD, black and white thinking, it has not been forever. Prevacid, Clonazapam, Wellbutrin XR, prozac, then the pain meds, I had asked them at one point to step down to a smaller dose and now they think I am drug seeking? Also all of the migraine and other intermitent stuff.

Well, I don't have pain but since the little dachsund I recently rescued has been in heet and getting blood everywhere I had three beds of blankets, sheets, you name it to do! I went to the laundrymat as doing that much at home would be at least a three day job and then there would be the daily laundry as well. So I went to do it all at once and after an hour I couldn't lift my arms above my stomach. My back feels not so great and both shoulders hurt. So, I am just reclining for a bit after coming home, leaving all of the laundry in the car for hubby to bring in, making up three beds completely except mine as I ran out of clean blankets and want my wool ones back anyway.

I will pay, I know, but how do I get out of this thinking of wanting to push myself to the max, not take meds, and prove that I don't need anyone or anything to change? I feel like I am 20 again for crying out loud!!!!!!!! I AM relying on hubby, he knows what I did and understands why. He is also aware that I may be facing some nasty withdrawals and he promised to be here for me in whatever way possible.

So, I don't expect you all to have the answers, just complaining, venting, trying to sort this all out.