Bonnie,I just wanted to thank you for all the advice you have given to me. Yes, its true, there are 18 pages to my drama. I kept adding to it because I felt safe to let go of what was in my mind. It has greatly helped me cope through those times i felt like i had no one to talk to. Believe it or not I go back and re read what insight was offered to me from time to time.
You are so right, I need to examine my feelings and continue to strive for independence. I have been making progress even though I sometimes have episodes where I want to give up. It is a struggle, but I am confident that no matter what life goes on and I will have to make the best of what I have been dealt. I will conquer my issues one by one. I can't be in denial any longer. I can't be afraid and I have to do this for myself and my family.
I am concentrating right now on having this baby and praying that she will be safe and healthy. I am consuming my time with actually for once being happy about it, and letting go. I have been so scared to let others know about this baby on the way because of all the complications that I became a hermit. I am blessed, and I know that I've made it this long we have a good chance of making it through together. I have released those bottled up feelings and have shared the baby news with a few people already. I am so pleased. I feel so good about it. I'm not hiding any longer.
So again, take care, and thank you.
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Originally Posted by BonnieG2010
I do get riotgirrrl point here, Baker.
There are limits in what a forum can do.
A forum is a great place and this forum, particularly, is a great place with great people. But it has limits.
There are 18 pages, EIGHTEEN pages of posts, they're an awful lot. You felt our participation, appreciated our advice and nearness, still you're not happy in the least. One post you blame it on your mom and the next one you blame it on your husband. You certainly have reasons to do so, but you can see for yourself that you are not moving forward.
I guess that's because you need dedicated help, something more precise and specific than what you get here.
Your big issue is that you just let go of your mom's hand. Similar experience as when you did it for the first time when you where a little girl. Now the world is too big a place for a little girl that let go of her mother's hand, she needs another hand to hold on to. And it cannot be 20 hands from a forum. It must be one. You must build trust between the 2 of you, you must set goals and then face all the trials and errors of a therapy.
I do feel for you too, but i told you everything i could and i could read 100 more of your posts like the one you just posted and i couldn't add one word to what i already said.
You are feeling so alone and depressed because you've just cut the cord and that's a big leap. Now there's some healing to do, come consciousness to be gained on all the processes that went on in your family, some work to do to build yourself up as in independent person, because your family did not help you do that.
A forum cannot do that.
A forum just can't.
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