Lately it seems I haven't had a session where I'm not crying. I'm not entirely sure about T's reaction because I'm too terrified to look at her, but when I do catch a glimpse she's usually got a sympathetic look on her face, which makes me feel not as alone.
Since crying is pretty much par for the course these days, T and I generally just continue with our session through the tears. Sometimes she is silent, but she can also be silent when I'm not crying - I think she's giving me time to say things. I do get the feeling she is sometimes staring at me, which makes me nervous, but at the same time makes me feel cared about.
Continuing the session while I cry makes the crying seem a bit more acceptable somehow. She rarely comments on my crying - in fact, I don't think she ever has. Once at the end of the session I noticed the tissue box was empty (it had been since the start of our session), and asked if she had more anywhere. She apologized and mentioned there were probably some in the reception area or I could use the restroom nearby. A big part of me wished she would have gotten some for me. I also have a fantasy of her coming to sit with me while I cry, to hold me, provide a hug, or a gentle touch, to let me hold her hand for a moment.
Yeah, I guess I have I thought a bit about the crying thing a lot.