This is a really interesting question. It's not silly at all. I think it's such an individual thing - one person's idea of an uncaring response is what someone else wants. And I think what we want at these moments often relates back to childhood.

My parents didn't allow me to be upset. My dad was more of the "I'll give you something to cry about" view while my mum would ignore me, talk over me or tell me not to be upset. I don't have any memories of being comforted or of my feelings being accepted. I've told my T that I feel really abandoned and neglected if he doesn't pass me the tissues, so he does now when I cry.

I tend to hide behind my hands when I cry. If I look at him, his compassionate expression always comes as something of a shock, as it's not what I'm expecting to see.

The one thing I really need is some kind of acknowledgement that I'm crying, even if it's just the look on his face. For a while, I was convinced he didn't notice or care and actually fantasised about getting him to hold up a sign when he could see that I was crying. But I don't feel he's ignoring me if he sits and looks at me, that makes me feel too seen and too scrutinised. I would feel ignored if he got up and did something else or talked casually while I cried.