Transference is not necessarily talked about, it is "worked" through. The relationship was well worth talking about for me because it was right there, immediate, and we were both participating, etc. Sometimes transference would come up in relation to our working together but that was okay.

I don't think one can learn to relate to others well without getting some first-hand experience with feedback you know will be helpful. Otherwise one is stuck with one's friends/relatives and what we think about them and what they're doing, etc. whereas we don't know T so well so our assumptions of what T is thinking/doing are easier to work with because they are not so "possible" to know without discussion with T. It's easier to see thought distortions, etc.