I don't talk about transference with my T because I don't really have any. We have a very close (and deep) relationship and sometimes we have mentioned how close we are, but it isn't about transference. We don't talk at length about how close we are. We just acknowledge it. There has been a time or two I had negative transference with T (found it very difficult to share something with him because I was afraid he would react negatively, as family members had in the past), and we did talk about that. I got a lot of reassurances from him that he was not these other people, etc. And a few months ago, I had a session where we talked about how I was angry at him for some things he had done, and that did take the whole time. I think it was the first time (or maybe second) I was angry at him, but it was not transference. He refused to accept payment for that session. It was like he felt I shouldn't have to pay for having to discuss and straighten out a situation that was essentially his fault. I really respected him for doing that.

FWIW, my T does not do CBT at all. He is family systems and client-centered humanistic existential, etc. I just have so many issues to talk about in therapy that I don't want to spend a good part of sessions talking about him and me. I think he would be open to talking about our relationship more if I wanted to, but I pay 100% out of pocket for my sessions and I need to make progress on my issues, not talk all the time about how close we are! Through interacting with T, I do learn to have better relationships (I sure needed help with that), but we don't discuss this. We just do it! T models how to have a good relationship by how he interacts with me and stories he tells of himself and others. I learn from this and use those "skills" in therapy in interacting with him, but we don't officially work on "skills".

I think the interactions with my therapist have been very healing. I think wounds from my long, unhappy marriage got healed. It restored something in me to have a male be so nice and treat me so well. Maybe that is some transference. We don't need to discuss that, though. It just happens, and it's magic. We just know what is going on but don't need to analyze it. We can just appreciate the feelings without intellectualizing.

I do agree with this. If therapy was a big problem, I would not do it.