I would not waste time fixing blame and being upset, I would try to fix the problem by putting safeguards in place so it cannot happen again.

If you have separate accounts, what was he doing with your debit card/your account? If he wants to pay the bills, etc. I would have three accounts, each of you have your own and then a joint account and each of you deposit or move X amount apiece of your money into the joint account as you both agree to. Your individual account would be used as your own spending money for lunches, gifts, personal care, etc. If you still only want two accounts, I would deposit my paychecks in my account and transfer money to his account.

My husband and I only have one account and our individual ATM cards access that account. My husband likes having a certain amount of cash in his wallet, when I want cash, I use his wallet for my ATM :-) such that the first year we did that, the bank did not renew my ATM card because I had not used it enough! I only ever complained because we were going out of town for a vacation and there could be times I'd be on my own and might need the ATM in the vacation location.

It does not matter "why" your husband wants/is doing what he is doing; if he is not any good at it, he doesn't get to do it!