There are no short cuts in life, so it goes without saying that there's no short cut for dealing with bp either.

Yes we are inconsistant and we throw ourselves quite a few pity parties as the episodes and mood cycles go by, but... If we can learn to accept the dx AND commit to wellness, then its wayyy more attainable.

Meds take a ton of patience and perseverance, plus you have to set clear boundaries on the type of side effects you're willing to put up with. Be clear on the type of trade offs you're willing to make and become your own advocate where pdocs are concerned...

If you want to be med free, you're gonna need dedication and self-awareness. To learn all you need in order to aquire the skills best suited to you and your cycles / episodes.

And no, we obviously don't have the energy or inclination to be good at either of those all the time, but THATS where commitment comes into play.

Yes you feel like shyt and dbt sucks a.s.s right now, but whyyy? Is it dbt or your mood. Following through despite not wanting to will mean a huge sense of accomplishment on your part. Accomplishment leads to better self-esteem, and we could all do with an extra bit of that...

Prioritizing is a major help in deciding what is worth trudging through, and what we can slack on when the need arises to do so.

I'm sorry you feel like crap, but look on the bright side, atleast its not permanent.

This too shall pass

Ps. you are not diseased. The sooner you change your perception of bipolar the better for you... IMO, how you view bp, and being dxd is what is holding you back / keeping you down more than bp itself.
But thats just what I get from your posts, I could be wrong as there's not clear tone in text.